Change and the Power of WHY

The “Why?” question is useful when we are facing challenges in attaining something we want or making changes. I have learned that when I want something and cannot reach my goal, it is frequently because I am doing something to sabotage myself subconsciously. Often times we say one thing and think another. Someone who is in a weight loss program may say “I am reducing my weight” but think “It is not possible.” In business our goal may be to achieve a certain level or promotion, and in our mind we say “So-and-so can do it because she lives in a better place. It won’t work here in Wisconsin.” This conflict between thought and action creates an impossible dilemma. You cannot accomplish what you do not think possible.

Ask the right questions

When you have something you really want to do, one way to determine if your thoughts match your words is to ask these questions.
• How much do I want this?
• What will it get me? (Visualize your end result vividly. See yourself there.)
• What is it worth? (Financially, emotionally, and to your family.)
• Is it worth the effort? (My experience with this is very straightforward: I will only put effort into something that I really want.)
See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear and feel what you’ll feel. When you visualize that outcome (stopped smoking, achieved ideal weight, earned a certain amount of money, got that promotion, asked that person out on a date, etc.) make the colors bright and really experience it in your mind as you think it would be.

After that, check for a secondary gain. By that, I mean check to see how you will benefit if you do NOT make the change. Here are examples.

• You must want to eat more than you want to lose weight. The benefit of not reducing your weight is that you get to eat as much as you want.
• You must like the benefit of smoking more than you want to stop. The benefit of smoking may be more breaks at work, or not suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
• The benefit of not moving up to the next level is that you do not have to make as many customer calls.
• You want to take the dog for a walk more than making host calls.
Once you’ve taken care of motivation and secondary gain, it is time to check for belief. Ask yourself the following questions:
• Do you want this? Did your subconscious mind say “You bet.” Or did it say “Sorta”?
• Is this possible for you? “It is too hard” or “I can do it”?
• Do you know how to do this? “It’s easy.” or “I might be able to figure it out.”?
• Do you deserve this? Did you think “I really shouldn’t or can’t do it.” or “It is worth the effort.”?
Then notice your own immediate gut-level thoughts as you say these questions out loud. Be honest with yourself and listen closely to what your mind is telling you. Does it seem like a congruent response (i.e. you really believe it) or are you unsure?

The Process Takes Time

This whole process takes some quiet reflective time for yourself. You deserve it! Take an afternoon and figure out why you have not achieved your goals. The simple way to start a mind shift is through positive affirmations. Incorporate statements into your life to overcome the negative thoughts that you just discovered. Incorporate daily readings into your life from The Secret, Think and Grow Rich and other motivational books which stimulate positive thought.
You can and deserve to reach your goals both in business and in your personal life. Take steps to change your future. Believe that you can succeed – it’s the good old New Age technique of affirmations.