Solve Unsupportive Spouse Problem!

A new Cash Flow Show raving fan just sent me an email asking “How does one deal with an unsupportive spouse?”

As I typed out my reply to her I decided that this is a great topic for a blog post!

Is Your Partner Supportive Of Your Business?

If your husband or wife is not supportive of your home party plan business, it is not good!
unsupportive spouse

Profit = Supportive Spouse

Chances are if you are making money your spouse will be supportive.

Having said that though, I realize that it really is not that simple!

If your spouse is unsupportive, chances are you may not stick with it long enough to make a profit.

How To Start Communicating With Your Spouse

Since your party business takes place in the home it will impact everyone who lives there, so communication is key to success.

Chances are you have already tried that and did not get very far or it did not go well! Here are some tips to improve spousal support:

  1. Ask what she/he is really concerned about.
  2. Practice the 10 second rule.
  3. Share how you feel, not what you think.
  4. Think about how can you alleviate the real concern of your spouse.
  5. Negotiate a solution to the real concern.

Legitimate Concern About Spouse In Business

We could guess what your spouse’s real concern is and then throw out a bunch of solutions but chances are that would not be dealing with the real problem.

What is his/her REAL concerns?

My guess is that they will be legitimate and most likely will not the first thing that s/he tells you when you ask.

Listen to the answer and then share for only 10 seconds and ask another question…. repeat over and over again —  forever! That is the only way you will get to the real concern.

Plan your conversation by thinking about how you really feel….

Are you lonely, scared, feeling unsupported, fearful, nervous, unhappy….. Then tell them and end it in a question like this:

  • I am really excited about MyFantasticCompany business and the potential it has for us and am feeling scared that I do not have your support.
    What is it that concerns you about me and MyFantasticCompany business?

Do not put any responsibility on them.

No one can argue with your feelings.  Try to refer to the business and the results of the business as a family or joint endeavor (our business, when we earn the trip, our profit will…)

Unsupportive Spouse? Why?

Unsupportive SpouseWhen you practice that scenario over and over again you will be able to find out the real reason why your spouse does not support your home party plan business. 

When you get to the real concern you can address it and work out a solution.

Without your spouse’s support you will always feel like you are being knocked down on your path to success!

The Key To Getting Spouse Business Support

The key to your spouse’s support of your home business will come with patience and acceptance.

  • Give your partner time, be patient, practice the 10 second rule and make a profit!

Please Share Your Tips For Getting Support From A Spouse Or Partner In The Comments Below!!


    Shared by: Kevin Sanderson:

    It certainly is important for spouses to work together. When my wife first joined a network marketing company, I was admittedly not really onboard.

    Sometimes it just takes time. That is okay. If your spouse is not supportive, the chances are they have doubts centered around unanswered questions. The business is a very different model than other “mainstream” businesses, so it is wise not to take skepticism or misunderstandings about the business to heart.

    It also helps for spouses to speak with other spouses in the business. It really does help to have a third party validation for people, and people put a lot of stock into what others in similar situations feel.

    Just as building the business does not happen overnight, getting a spouses support might not happen overnight either.

    If I can come around, so can just about anyone. Best of luck!

    Shared by: Mark Semple CCC:

    No woman actually needs a man in order to be successful. Yet, the journey is more fulfilling when it can be shared.
    Spouse support – or lack thereof – is a topic I specialize in.
    Be successful – together
    Mark Semple CCC

    Shared by: Kimberly Fedison:

    I started my Slumber Parties business 4 years ago and I am lucky to have my husband on board. He loads and unloads my car, does my inventory and does all my post office runs. However, I have seen first hand how an non-supportive spouse or partner can affect you whole business.

    I agree with Merilyn in her comments above. Men want to see the money. Sharing your company’s incentive plan with him and sitting down with your upline so he can understand the potential of your business helps too. Let him take your deposits to the bank! That always helps.

    A lot of women who start in direct sales/party plan businesses grow so much as a person, they are empowered, positive women. Maybe he is afraid that you will out grow him or have new friends and things to discuss that don’t include him. Sitting down to talk about the feelings of the situation will help too. Share with him how you have to put in the time to reap the rewards. Yes, there are some ladies out there who are just born party plan superstars, but there are others of us that need to work at it. Remember, its not an instant success, but a marathon. What you put into your business today will reflect 30-60-90 days from now. Let him see that by attending trainings and implementing what you learn there, that those expenses will come back to you in profits!

    It can be difficult with a spouse that isn’t supporting you, but it you can still do it. If it is important to you, he will eventually come around too.

      Shared by: Deb Bixler:

      Thanks, Kimberly – yes spouse support is so important as obviously your relationship is a huge part of your life. Working through this is key to sticking with the business. I always go back to “show him/her the money ASAP” – Start making money as quickly as possible and the topic will be easier to talk about!

    Shared by: Merilyn Strange:

    I love all the comments above and they are filled with GREAT advice. This is a really important question Deb.

    This concern is valid and most new Representatives/Consultants don’t share this fact because they feel embarrassed to say that their spouse is not supportive. It’s difficult and can be self defeating if your spouse has a negative feeling about your new venture.

    When a Representative/Consultant starts their new direct sales business often the spouse voices concerns that it will take time away time from the them and their children. What’s really behind that seems to be your potential independence, confidence and ability to earn income on your own and time away from family, all without knowing what the business is all about.

    Men generally do not look at the business in an emotional way a woman does.
    Women feel that the new business will be FUN, give them interaction with other women in the business, plus earn money too. What’s better than that?

    Men have one thought: SHOW ME THE MONEY!
    Men like to see things in black and white.

    So, show them the money – on paper.
    Share your goals.
    Show them your potential earnings – How much you can earn and in what time period.
    What it will take for you to earn that income.
    What support you need from him.
    What you plan to do with the money you earn. Pay the car payment, buy groceries,
    put money in savings, buy new patio furniture, whatever your goal may be.

    Starting your new business you will want to know:
    -How much you can earn per average customer order
    -How much you can earn per average party
    -Your earnings goal $____ = per selling period
    -#____ of hours you plan to work your business.

    Working for a family goal such as vacation? Involve the family so it’s a family effort. Show the family how they will all benefit by helping and supporting you in your new venture.

    Merilyn Strange Elite Leader, Avon ISR, Trainer, Sales Coach

    Shared by: Vicky Wilson:

    I agree, this is a great topic. I am building my team and I have a girl that is dealing with this right now. She is just getting started and doing ok but her husband won’t support her. He wants the paycheck now. I feel she will do awesome but am very concerned if she will stick with it for long.? I really like the idea of writing yourself a paycheck. This may help her but right now those paychecks would be pretty small. Any thoughts on how to convince the husbands that the checks will get bigger?
    Thankfully I have an amazing husband and he completely is supporting my business and is even working with me when we do designs for businesses.
    I look forward to reading more responses.

      Shared by: Deb Bixler:

      Well, Vicky, The idea of getting him to a team meeting or conference where there are other successful consultants sharing is powerful. I once knew a couple from Russia who moved to the States and he was really old school thinking that she should not be working out of the home. She brought him to conference and he had a total change of vision!! Seeing the big picture!

    Shared by: Tricia Ashe:

    I actually love this topic because so many of my team members have had to deal with very subject. One team member in particular had to constantly listen to her husband complain about the money she was spending on her business and she didn’t see any results from her actions. So I gave her the following advice:

    Make sure you have your own bank account and all of your commissions go into this account, not your personal joint account with your husband. Keep a log off all expenses and at the end of each month, do a balance sheet to show your debits and credits. This of course is basic business practice for anyone. But the next step is what seemed to make a difference for her. WRITE YOURSELF A PAYCHECK! If you have your own business bank account, write yourself a paycheck each month on the same dayfor the amount that you actually earned that month, minus expenses incurred. DEPOSIT THAT CHECK INTO YOUR PERSONAL JOINT ACCOUNT. Many spouses get discouraged because they don’t ever “see” the money until the money is big enough to “see”. But if you write yourself a check and make a deposit just like a regular paycheck would be deposited, it is a tangible and visual reference to the success you are having in your business. Your spouse will be able to literally “see” the money coming in each month when you do this and together as you grow your business, you can watch the amounts of your paycheck grow as well!

    Before long, my team member who was having a hard time dealing with the unsupportive spouse told me the best news. Her husband came home one day and said, “I sure am glad you have a paycheck coming in now. I needed gas today and that $60 you put in the bank on Monday saved me from sitting on the side of the road. Next time you have party, if you need any help, let me know. I am your man!”

      Shared by: Deb Bixler:

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Tricia, Dina, and Lucy…. I am hoping this post gets a lot of comments so we can give consultants a great resource! One CFS post on games has over 100 comments – do you think we can do that here?!

    Shared by: Dina McGee:

    As a Thirty-One Gifts Consultant getting my husband on board with my new business was a little tricky- He saw a bunch of “bags” where I saw opportunity to create a successful business. He was worried that I would spend all of my time away from the family but I assured him that I would only schedule my events and parties within our schedule and by doing this he has seen that I can leave the house-make money doing it and still spend time with thim and the kids- A win win!

    I also discuss with him any ideas I have to help grow my 31 business so he feels included and I am glad I did becasue he has awesome ideas!

    Shared by: Lucy Shelly:

    Well said Deb! I think it’s very important to get enough support from your partner to furnish a job successfully. I think ‘Home Party Business’ is absolutely profitable if both partners agree a specific point.

    Shared by: Deb Bixler:

    You are right Tanya, about the meetings. I remember when consultants would bring there hubbies with them to conference then the guys would really get supportive!!

    Shared by: Tanya Targett:

    Such a tricky topic, particularly if you aren’t earning money yet, as if you were, you could pop a certain amount per party into the jar, so s/he could a) not only see the contribution but b) use that for something special for the two of you.

    Communication can be helpful, have your partner sit down with your upline/manager, so they can see the business plan and understand what you a)need to do and b) are trying to do.

    Take them along to a meeting or two, and involve them. You could even get them to help pack orders, or put together stationery packs.

    And perhaps what I find works best … Ask them for their advice, even if you don’t need it. If you have a problem, as them how they would deal with it. Men in particular like to a) feel valued and b) problem solve.

    Your new venture could be undermining their confidence, so give them some back by involving them.

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